Trigger Fish: An Orthodontist’s Nightmare

Imagine this situation: You are patronizing a dive bar on the Lower East Side. You have had a couple of drinks and your beer goggles are gearing into effect. You are on the prowl and looking for trouble. Out of the corner of your eye you catch a glimpse of what appears to be a major hottie. She looks back at you and winks. You freeze. Your knees get weak. Love (more specifically, lust) at first sight. Then out of nowhere BAM! She smiles at you, bearing her teeth. You realize that where her beauteous pearly whites should be there is a horrifying row of sharp pointy fangs protruding from her pie-hole. Teeth so sharp they could cut glass! The kiss of death pending, you scream and run home to mommy. This freakish femme is what I like to call a “Trigger”.

=

Trigger fish have nasty vampire-like teeth, which they use to crush the shells of mollusks, sea urchins and crustaceans. Despite the bite, they taste AMAZIN’! Scaling in between 2-5 lbs each, these tasty morsels have been making waves in the culinary world for years. Our wild triggers are caught off the coast of North Carolina.

Did you know?

The trigger fish has a double spiny dorsal fin which when erected serves as protection against predators. Once the longer anterior spike is erect, the second smaller spine must be depressed in order to depress the larger spike. Hence the name “trigger fish”. Hopefully that didn’t confuse you too much. Buy a trig and try it yourself, just for kicks. Trigger fish, as fish go, are smart. They have the ability to remember and learn from past experiences. Hopefully this pair of Trigs retain THIS memory:

WHAT TIME IS IT? SWORDFISH TIME!

Coming live and direct from the Hudson Canyon, the North Atlantic Swordfish fishery is ALL GOOD. If you don’t know, the Hudson Canyon is like the offshore version of the Hudson Valley. Complete with its own geomorphology and marine biology, this underwater landscape is where a little topographical element called the CONTINENTAL SHELF drops off into the abyss off the coast of Long Island. North Atlantic Swordfish is NOT overfished. In fact, they are everywhere. Check out this rogue swordfish tearing around lower Manhattan atop his ride of choice.

The North Atlantic swordfish population is now fully rebuilt! As a matter of fact, biomass estimates are currently 5% above their target level. U.S. commercial fishermen use pelagic longline gear to capture North Atlantic swordfish. Pelagic longline gear has no impact on ocean floor habitats because it does not come into contact with the bottom. Swordfish are so gangster.  Swordfish capture prey by slashing their long flat bill, stunning or injuring the victim during said process. Broken swordfish bills have been found embedded in ship hulls. In closing, if someone tells you swordfish is not a sustainable catch:

 

Listen to Flava Flav: DON’T BELIEVE DA HYPE!

Looking Good Flav!