Posted on December 2nd, 2011
I tell you from first hand experience that TAUTOGS aka Blackfish are migrating south for the winter. NEXT STOP: SOUTH OF LAWN GUYLAND: Can I get a fist pump?! As you know, tautogs have delicate white flesh that curls like a pervy mustache when fried lightly.
These fish are rocky bottom dwellers. They only have eyes for green crabs, mollusks and chubs. ‘Togs love their green crabs SO much, you would think they were stewing up a crab stock. ‘Togs are dressed in what appears to be full camouflage regalia. They have big thick lips with gnarly teeth which they use to chomp the living shit out of the Intertidal Zone. These lazy bastards drift in on the high- tide, munching away relentlessly with their nasty old lips and sloppy jowls.
When they are finished gorging themselves, they high-five each other and say: